Guilt trip

Extravagance.
We need this sometimes.
Personally I spend my life in a constant fog of guilt and self recrimination and beat myself up literally ALL the time.
Today:
1) what happened to my resolution to de- clutter, de-junk and sort out all the accumulation in this teeny house? There is less and less carpet in here and more and more bags, boxes, piles of schtuff and utter guff.
I am now completely paralysed by the sheer AMOUNT and how long it takes me to do ANY of the chucking and sorting. I’ve now got seven years’ worth plus 4 peoples’ JUNK in here. When I left that school and took a tiny weeny amount of the GEAR from there, literally a car load really and YET I had no room for it and possibly should have left EVERYTHING.
2) Eating. Shouldn’t eat this , that and t’other and should be doing X and Y instead.
3) Exercise. Same as 2. Altho’ I am often going swimming and fairly long walks , mainly so I’m not in the house!

AND I should have done a whole list of things today already, or at least not sat here on my astoundingly wide arse typing away and achieving nowt.. mea culpa maxima culpa

Oh well

On the chucking out.

Once it’s gone, it’s gone. And Then What? Will I suddenly need it? Miss it? Long for it? As I did for my lost toys that I’d kept since I was 5 and left behind in the previous house when that was suddenly ¬†( bit of a long story there).

So basically I need to weigh up which is worse: having all the clutter against the pain of sorting it and the dread of missing it once I’ve chucked it.

I seem to be in a kind of holding pattern with it. Impasse.

More on that story later..oh and btw that isn’t MY angry christmas rabbit, but it works as an image, no?

 

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