Am currently sat in a cafe near my house as I don’t want to be in my house until or IF son 2 goes to his Dad’s, which seems the best/only solution.
Thought I’d try and get it down on ‘paper’ and ‘out of my head’.
This morning I was sat in the mental health team’s office talking to the duty worker about how he’s been the past few months/years, but *basically* I have to face facts the situation is all out of control.
He is worse on the pills he’s currently on but even before that he was horrendous, with violent temper outbursts and rants, all illogical and ego centric and blaming everyone else.
Last night he frightened me hugely and now I don’t want to be in the house if he’s around.
L and I spent ages clearing up the food he’d thrown round the kitchen just before he pushed me against the door and shouted in my face and threatened me.
This was caused by me asking him if I could have my wooden board back.
Basically it’s the platform which i have to stand on to get the things off the shelves on the landing.. bit complicated.
So we’re in the kitchen, both of us in shock, after we’d got C out of the house. He spent the night ‘at West Bay’ even though I’d organised him a room in a pal’s house. He refused to go.
L said C just doesn’t get it, he doesn’t have any empathy.
‘It’s like the ‘water, water’ moment in Helen Keller, we need him to suddenly ‘get it’.’
I said: ‘Oh that film- that’s the reason I became a teacher, I hoped I would be able to achieve that with a child. That was my dream.’
We both gazed at each other and then L said, pointing to a bit of pasta on the ceiling:
‘we missed a bit’.